Public Speaking: is GREAT marketing


February 17th, 2009 by Frank Damelio

Why should networkers engage in public speaking?  How can you start building your business through public speaking now?  Are there ways to feel more comfortable doing it?  Enjoy this video interview, hosted by the famous marketing expert Laura Briere, CEO of Vision Advertising.  A special thank you to Laura, whose team of experts not only designed our site but also developed our highly-effective social media strategy.  Also, thank you to Steve-O from Point Breeze for filming!

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Public Speaking: Exhibit Confidence


February 17th, 2009 by Frank Damelio

In our previous blogs we spoke about veiling the nerves.  Once that is accomplished, we are ready to emulate what a confident person does, even though we may not feel confident from within.

Two “tricks” that we’ve discussed are pausing and moving at a moderate pace.  Here is another technique for exhibiting confidence.

In college, I was already an avid student of public speaking, and I made it a point to compare and contrast students’ public speaking performances with those of our professors. This is not to say that professors are necessarily great presenters, but they do tend to look comfortable and confident.  When students are asked to speak before the class, even though they might have a great presentation prepared, they usually appear nervous and awkward.

Of course the professors typically spoke at a much slower pace, but I also noticed that they tended to lean a great deal.  Later, when I began studying body language, my observation was confirmed by research: confident people will lean (when appropriate) and nervous people will not.  Professors would have one hand in the pocket and, on occasion, put the other hand on a table or desk.  This is a great telegraph of comfort and confidence if it is NOT a formal presentation.  Clearly you would not use this technique giving a eulogy or a presentation to the board of directors.

On a side note, in social situations, for example a house party, studies show that guests who are comfortable and confident will tend to lean as well.

There you  have it, the power of the lean, just make sure you don’t fall over!

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Public Speaking: Fear – Nerves and Confidence


February 16th, 2009 by Frank Damelio

To date, we have uncovered the secrets to veiling the fear of pubic speaking:

Fear of Public Speaking: Stop shaky hands
Fear of Public Speaking: Stop shaky voice
Fear of Public Speaking: Cure the dry throat
Fear of Public Speaking: Avoid freezing

Once you can successfully manage/veil your public speaking fear, you are ready discover how to emulate confidence, even when you are not feeling that confidence from within.

What are the common denominators of a confident speaker?  After years of studying presenters, both nervous and confident, I’ve uncovered the nuances that make the difference.

1) We have already discussed the first: pacing, which dictates that more confident speakers tend to do everything at a more moderate, purposeful pace.  Nervous speakers tend to race, both physically and verbally.  As as side note, research shows that people who talk too fast and bustle around the office are PERCEIVED as lower in the power chain than those who talk and move at a moderate pace.

2) Confident speakers PAUSE.  Without the pause, people cannot digest as swiftly as you speak.  Of equal importance your pauses clearly communicate that you are confident (irrespective of whether it is true). Always pause when you make a strong point.  Pause when you are searching what to say next.  As we discovered in the avoid freezing blog entry, pausing makes YOU feel awkward but it makes you LOOK confident. Conversely, “umms and ahhs” to fill the silence make YOU feel more comfortable, but they make you LOOK far more awkward.

Public speaking fear can be managed easily and effectively using these techniques.

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Public Speaking: Fear – Avoid Freezing


February 13th, 2009 by Frank Damelio

ice-cubes-nausea-lgIn learning to veil the fear of public speaking, we must address the common fear of freezing.  Here is a simple technique:

Memorize rote your opener and closer.  Why? Research shows that nerves spike in the first few moments of a presentation and in the last few moments.  When nerves spike you are more likely to freeze; so by memorizing, word-for-word, your power opener and power close, you will have more confidence when you need it most.

Clearly if you are using Power Point as a crutch, all you need to do is look up at the slide, but for the more effective presenters who chose not to read from their visuals, keep the following in mind:

1) Freezing to you is simply pausing to them.  Four seconds feels like an eternity for you, but it seems like a respectable pause to the audience.  It feels weak to you, but they interpret it as confidence.  It’s okay to “freeze” to allow your brain to catch up; then move on.  Avoid “Ums and ahs” and any filler. It is counterintuitive that filler makes YOU feel more comfortable, but it makes your audience think you are insecure.

2) Keep in mind that, in most cases, the audience does not know the layout of your presentation; so if you freeze on a point, just move to the next. You can address the missed point later in the presentation without anyone noticing.

3) If you’re using notes, avoid writing in sentence form or, even worse, paragraph form.  For a nervous speaker this can be deadly.  Once you lose your place, your eyes start to race through the text to find where you left off, and the panic snowballs as the seconds tick away.  Bullets in large font ensure that in just a glance you can get right back on track.

Freezing is simply a mind game with one player – you.  By employing the tips above you will be more confident that you will not freeze, which means that you’ll be less likely to freeze in the first place.

There you have it, yet another tip to manage your fear of public speaking.

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Public Speaking: Fear – Dry Throat


February 12th, 2009 by Frank Damelio

dreamstime_11462314[1]Veiling your fear of public speaking is quite simple, once you know the quick-fix tricks.  We’ve already discussed how to stop the shaky hands and how to stop the shaky voice.  Now we’ll share a simple technique for handling the dry throat.  

Just do a search on the web, and you’ll find many people seeking a remedy for the dry throat when they become anxious.  Here it is:

1) Forget water because it quickly dissipates within a minute.  If, however, you do drink water before or during your presentation, make sure it is at room temperature because cold water constricts the throat making public speaking more difficult.

2) The best remedy: luke warm orange juice.  It will give your throat a silky coating that will LAST through your presentation.

3) If you’re caught off-guard and have nothing with you: Imagine eating Sour Patch Kids, which will get your saliva glands into action.

4) A teaspoon of honey will give you a lasting coating, and it may be more palatable for you than luke warm OJ.

The benefit to you of using one of these remedies is that you won’t have to swallow mid sentence when public speaking, which is a dead giveaway that your are nervous.  Now with one less thing to worry about, you can concentrate on your delivery.

Please share your comments on how to veil your fear of public speaking.

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Public Speaking: Fear – Shaky Voice


February 8th, 2009 by Frank Damelio

Does your voice shake when you are speaking in public?  Just like the shaky hand, your fear of public speaking triggers the release of excessive adrenaline, which causes your voice to shake.

What big mistake do most speakers make when their voice gets shaky?  They lower the volume.  It is natural to want to lower your volume when you hear the shakiness in your voice, but it is counterproductive.  It makes the shakiness more obvious.

The solution is to raise your volume when your voice is shaky.  The extra adrenaline in your body causes your vocal cords to have tiny vibrations that make that shaky sound.  When you speak loudly, the bigger movements of the vocal cords will veil the smaller vibrations caused by nerves.  In essence, you drown out the shakiness in your voice.

While counterintuitive, it is this simple: turn up the volume to overcome the “shakes”.

More to come on veiling your fear of public speaking.

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Public Speaking: Fear – Shaky Hands


February 6th, 2009 by Frank Damelio

10180735As promised, first we will delve into the outside-in approach for veiling your fear of public speaking. Later we will uncover long-term methods to deal with your fear of presenting.

When we feel the fear of public speaking from within, what telegraphs that fear to our audience? One of clearest “tells” of our discomfort is the shaky hand.

Fear not . . . this one is easy to veil.

The problem:  Your fear of public speaking releases excessive adrenaline, which would be great if you were about to engage in a fight. However, since you’re just standing there, the energy has no release, and the result is that your hands begin to shake.

The solution: If you rely on notes, never hold a single piece of paper or index card.  Leverage dictates that a small shake in your hand will look huge by the time it reaches the tip of your paper.  Everyone will see your shakes magnified by this leverage.  You will see it too, and you will become even more nervous. If you need notes, hold something heavy underneath them.  It’s that simple.  By holding a leather padfolio beneath your notes, the sheer weight will flatten the shakes.

If you are not using notes, start your presentation with your hands held behind your back. Research shows that the beginning of the presentation is the most nerve-wracking.  Also, if it is not a formal presentation, you can then move to one hand in the pocket, and it is okay to hold a pen in the other hand as long as you do not fidget with it.

There you have the first tip towards veiling your fear of public speaking.  From this point forward, you will not telegraph your fear of presenting through your hands.

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Public Speaking: Fear – Is There Hope?


February 3rd, 2009 by Frank Damelio

dreamstime_8631049[1]Shaky hands, dry throat and wobbly knees are just some embarrassing effects caused by the fear of public speaking. In our public speaking blog we will deal with this fear of presenting on two fronts:

1) The quick fix to veil fear of public speaking, aka outside-in approach

2) The long term cure for fear of public speaking, aka inside-out approach

But before we delve into solutions, I’d like to share proof that there is hope for those who feel paralyzed by fear caused by the mere thought of public speaking.

1984 – Mr. Scavino’s high school English class.  We are doing oral book reports, and Mr. Scavino is calling us up in order – row by row, seat by seat.  I am prepared with respect to my book report, but something clicks in me, a fear I’ve never felt so intensely. One by one the students present, each completed presentation draws me closer to my turn.  I feel my throat constrict, my adrenaline is in overdrive and my hands are trembling. Then I hear my name.  I stand, staring at my index cards, and stumble through the title and author.  I still remember it: “The Muliple Man” by Ben Bova.  

My fear is causing a public speaking train wreck.  What to do? I do what most kids would do in that situation . . . I lie.  I tell Mr. Scavino that I never finished my report.  He does what most teachers would do.  He responds, “that’s okay Frank, I’ll let you finish your report tonight, and you can go again tomorrow”.

The next day arrives all to quickly. Overwhelmed by my new-found fear of public speaking, I muddle through an excruciatingly mortifying experience. From that point until graduation, I snuck my way out of every public speaking assignment.

Then, I hit college.  I HAD to learn to overcome, or at least veil, my fear of public speaking.  Every day I studied my professors and compared their presentations to those of the students.  What made the professors LOOK so much more comfortable?  Why did almost every student telegraph fear when they presented?  I studied the nuances and took notes.

Soon, I was able to cover the symptoms of my public speaking fear.  I began reading books on psychology and presentations, and ultimately I was able to convert fear to enthusiasm for public speaking.  Now I earn my living by delivering presentations to audiences of all sizes.

In the blog entries to come I will happily share the techniques I’ve learned to 1) veil the fear of public speaking (the quick fix) and 2) to ultimately ENJOY public speaking (a longer-term approach).

In the meantime, please feel free to share any techniques you’ve discovered to deal with your fear of public speaking.

Is there hope for those petrified of public speaking?  You bet!

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Public Speaking: The Humor Factor


January 31st, 2009 by Frank Damelio

dreamstime_1166078[1]If you are a naturally funny person, I envy you!  Those who can use humor and wit when public speaking have a tremendous advantage.  People LOVE to laugh, and they will forgive many sins if you can make them do so.

Here is an example.  A speaker is introduced to the audience, and on her way to the podium, she trips on the mic cord and falls to the ground.  She’s not hurt.  Immediately she jumps back to her feet, pauses, looks directly into the audience and says . . . “Hows that for a power opener?” The audience laughs and cheers for her.  In four words, she won them over.  Ah, the power of humor.

Another example: My good friend Malik at unconventional magic is a stellar corporate presenter.  I remember watching him perform.  There were three things on his table.  He picked up the first item and accidentally dropped it, as he bent to retrieve it, he bumped the table and the second item fell off.  He paused, looked at the audience and then . . .  whhhhack, he intentionally slapped the remaining item off his table and said “I might as well bat a thousand”.  The audience roared.  He won them over in an instant.  Yes, the power of humor!

In my power of persuasion training I talk about on of the six pillars of persuasion as related by the genious Dr. Cialdini in his amazing book Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion. Likeability is one of the pillars, and my experience shows that humor can build instant likeability with your audience.

Here are some tips on using humor in your public speaking:

1) Unless you are at a comedy/night club, nix anything that COULD BE construed as offensive.  If you have to wonder whether it is offensive, then drop it.

2) The humor in public speaking should not be stand-alone.  It must fall within the context of what’s happening (see examples above) or in the context of your theme.

3) Any extemporaneous humor gets a disproportionately strong laugh, because it projects that you are in the “here and now”.  

4) If you are like me, comedically challenged, then record your presentations to see where you got laughs.  If you are repeating the presentation, remember the lines, and cultivate them every time you  use them.

5) My humor in public speaking guideline is NEVER EMBARRASS anyone besides yourself.  Most people hate the spotlight because they don’t want to be humiliated before their peers.  Get a laugh at nobody’s expense or at your own expense, but never at the expense of an audience member.  Treat your audience as honored guests and they will return the favor.

Share your ideas and stories about humor in the context of public speaking here!

More on public speaking and humor.

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Public Speaking: Layout and Floor Plan


January 30th, 2009 by Frank Damelio

In our recent blog about rude audiences, we referred to the fact that the speaker disseminated information rather than communicating and connecting with the audience.  This helped cultivate an environment conducive to chitter chatter.  Upon reflection, more variables come into play.  

The first is seating.  While technically this was not a “seating” issue because much of the audience was standing, the same guidelines apply:  the denser the population the more they pay attention.  Scattered audiences have scattered attention spans.  This certainly contributed to the five private conversations that broke out while the speaker was presenting.

The second is room layout and floor plan.  Given the choice, It is always better to have a room that is slightly too small rather than too big. It it makes the event seem like it was a sell-out.  “They packed the room!” will be the reviews.  In addition, you avoid the scattered population problem.  Finally, the speaker has more relative presence; so both she and her message are less likely to get lost in the room.

The third variable is speaker positioning in the room.  Most rooms are rectangular, and in such cases the speaker is best positioned on a short end.  The “less square” the room, the more important this becomes.  Presenting from the the long side of a “flattened” rectangle will destroy your impact on the audience.  It dilutes your focus, voice and eye contact and INVITES the temptation for your audience members begin talking amongst themselves.  Most audience members will resist the temptation to speak aloud; instead they will engage in their own internal dialogue.  For example: “I better get working on my 3rd quarter presentation for next week, I wonder if Bob has started his?”  Some rude or ignorant members will simply startup a conversation.

Looking at our rude audience scenario, my bet is that had these layout issues been addressed in advanced, there may have been only one or no private conversations ensuing while the Chamber Officer was presenting . . . rather than five.

When you are public speaking, command your battlefield by controlling your layout and floor plan whenever possible.  Always keep in mind, a wider and more dispersed audience requires far more presentational skill on your part than does a narrow and densely populated audience.

In short: how and where they sit/stand will be a significant factor in how much they feel that they “liked” your presentation.  As always, it’s all in the nuances.

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