Buy 2hr audio CD on persuasion HERE.

Buy 2hr audio download on persuasion HERE.

In his seminal book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D, names reciprocity as one of the six pillars of persuasion. In short, the law of reciprocity dictates that by giving, you will get far more than you gave.

Gift giving is a sure way to engage in the law of reciprocity, which is why the act of giving in business has been practiced since the beginning of civilization. Beware, however, that it is a double-edged sword. Here are some guidelines to ensure that you appease the Gods of Reciprocity:

Three don’ts regarding the law of reciprocity:

1) Avoid giving cheap trinkets with your company logo: A cheap pen with your logo that doesn’t write says a great deal to your prospect about YOUR standards of quality.  When the pen breaks or fails to work, you are cultivating a sort of reverse sense of reciprocity.

2) Avoid giving high-priced items with general appeal: While some recipients may feel quite beholden to you for your gift, it can be perceived by others as crossing the ethical line. In other cases, it could be considered an illegal kickback. I remember my college roommate’s mom was a nurse in the early nineties. She received a free high-end laptop from a pharmaceutical company. A physician once told me that the same company sent him on vacations. Currently, that industry is becoming highly regulated with respect to gift giving.

3) Avoid “strings attached” giving: People may take you up on your offer, but when you call it a gift, they subconsciously regret it. Have you ever received a thank you coupon from a retailer? It says “we appreciate your business, so come in for your FREE gift __________”.  But, the tiny print on the back says “Free with the purchase of $100 or more”. Yes, the company is technically covered, but do you ever get that sense of reverse reciprocation?

Five applications of reciprocation that will get results:

1) Invitation to share time: If you really want to give a sincere gift, offer lunch, dinner, golf, boating, BBQ, anything where you will share time with the person. Keith Ferrazzi in his bestseller, Never Eat Alone talks about adding food to the mix because it creates a much more pleasant experience and memory for the person.

2) Reading or viewing materials: What interests the person you wish to gift? Finding out is so simple with google, facebook, twitter, myspace, linked in, or simply by asking the person. Once you know, it is a simple matter to send an article. Mailing it is more impressive than sending a link because it requires more labor and it can have a hand-written card or post-it attached. Jason Kallio, founder of Expovantage is a master networker. One of his tricks is to scan the news every morning and select which articles will be of interest to his contacts. His results are amazing. Books and DVDs are excellent ways to give a sincere and personalized gift.

3) Birthday Cards: Most people will never remember that you sent them a holiday card, but they will certainly remember a birthday card.

4) Links: What a great gift to give any networker. If your person has his or her own website, and the content is somewhat related to yours, providing a link is a great gift. You are helping them gain exposure and putting them in a positive light.

5) Give value not teasers: A great gift to give is your expertise. I vehemently disagree with those who say you devalue what you do when you give even a taste of it away. Even worse: “give them the why, and make them come to you for the how.” I am talking about gifting a bit of your expertise. A “bit” is a bit subjective. I say, more than a sample, but less than an appetizer, and not the full meal. It should be simple for you to do, but have stand-alone, intrinsic, walkaway value for them.

It is easy to note a common denominator regarding what works and what does not. It appears the techniques that work require some thoughtfulness. That’s why they don’t smack of insincerity. You have to be interested in the person, and most “slick” salespeople aren’t going to make the effort. The gifts that typically backfire appear to require less thought, as they have a more general appeal, or they are cheap tokens, or they have a transparent “ulterior” motive.

Keep in mind that I am employing the law of reciprocity to INDIVIDUAL relationships; not mass market. As per usual, I remind you that these are guidelines and not rules. There are always exceptions.

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In my last vlog, I talked about persuasive selling. In this blog, I want to mention what is NOT persuasive selling.

I just read a sales blog that dealt with the objection, “I’d like some time to think about it”. The blogger suggested that the salesperson use this technique:

“It’s a fact that as time progresses you only retain about 20% of what you learned; so as you take time to ‘think about it’ you are actually becoming less informed. I’m sure you don’t want to make a less-informed decision, right?”  Then wait for the answer, and go for the close.

Is this clever? Maybe. But here is my problem with some of these types of “tricks” in sales.  To the educated buyer, they sound slick and manipulative. Once your prospect feels he is being manipulated, you completely lose your power of persuasion.

A few more examples of techniques that turn off many prospects:

1) “John, I’m going to be in your area on Tuesday morning and Wednesday afternoon.  Which works best for you?” (Nothing wrong with this when John has agreed he wants to meet with you, but if John never gave you that indication, he’s likely to recognize this false-choice cheesy sales technique.)

2) Ben Franklin Close: “Okay John, how about we fold this paper in half. Put the pros on one side and the cons on the other. Whichever is longer, that’s the decision we’ll go with today.”

3) This is a big one: OVERUSE of a prospect’s name. Research shows that you should use the name at the beginning and end. However, inserting the name often in your pitch actually works AGAINST you. Why? Because it sounds slick and salesy.

Prospects are more intuitive and educated than we may think.  Once a prospect starts seeing you less as a resource and more as a salesperson, you are losing your ability to persuade.

Keep in mind that there are great lines and techniques to help you move towards a solution.  Just remember, many of your prospects have read the same sales books as you have, so be careful that you don’t come off as an encyclopedia of slick sales techniques.  Your worst fate is that they see you marching towards that close without respect to the way they make buying decisions.

Enjoy the tip and learn more about persuasion here:

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