While coaching a top executive on presentation skills, I commented that the enthusiasm he exhibits in one-to-one conversations was not being conveyed in his presentations to the group. His response: “as a company leader, I need to be taken seriously; so I tend to tone it down when speaking to my group.”
Of course, if a presenter is delivering bad news, such as layoffs, a subdued style is appropriate. In general, however, is the assumption that when one speaks with enthusiasm he or she appears less serious or businesslike? Does a more animated speaker seem any less credible to you? Take our poll and leave a comment below:
After weighing in, then check out this related blog entry on the cartoon factor.
Discover the secret to impressing and connecting with your audience.
Attendees at my pubic speaking trainings often say that they have taken “similar” courses on presentations by the big-name companies, and that my techniques are more thorough and insightful. This is because we all cover the same basics, but I also add a plethora of techniques that I developed as a professional sleight-of-hand performer. I learned far more about effective presenting in the entertainment industry than I did in the corporate arena.
I’ll share with you one major discovery I uncovered through magic. In my circle of professional magicians, we often discuss what is the “best” trick for an audience. At a show, I might throw your signed card through a window, bend your signed coin in your own hand, and turn singles into hundred dollar bills. Solid magic. My peers accomplish similar effects. We unanimously agree on what impresses an audience the most, and it’s a trick YOU can do… remember their names.
Clearly, this “trick” has limitations. It is unlikely to work with a full auditorium, but it is quite effective at meetings and classroom-size presentations. If you can remember the names of your audience members and use those names through your presentation and Q&A, you are golden. I have already written about some great strategies to remembering names here but I want to include a new technique I’ve been using that makes it even easier.
When you arrive early, you have an opportunity to meet attendees as they trickle in. My secret is upon introduction, I create a visual that I associate with the person’s name. Here are some examples:
Mike: I will visualize him talking into a mic while we chat.
Sarah: Piece of cake on her shoulder (Sara Lee brand of course)
Wendy: Burger
Karen: Carrot
Bob: Apple (corny but it works for me)
You can make these up on the spot. Some will only make sense to you. Burn that image into your mind so when you see them a bit later, you have your memory hook that enables you to recall their name. It works like a charm. When you are done with your presentation and Q&A be prepared to have many people remark, “you are amazing. How do you remember all of our names?” You might want to send them a link to this blog.
The results are clear. My latest study reveals the secret to getting referrals that convert to sales. This discovery may not be something you’ve ever considered.
When someone gives you a referral. They may be connecting you with a friend, relative or colleague. In some cases you will be connected with one of their vendors or one of their clients, and it is the latter two types of relationships that I tracked.
Let’s say Amber gives me a referral to John Smith because she thinks he would be interested in what I provide. The fact is that if John is her vendor he is much more likely to connect with me than if he were her client.
I suspected this at the outset, but I never realized how big the difference would be. Below you can see the percentage of successful connections made after the referral was given.
Why the difference?
Reciprocity. One of the pillars of persuasion is the law of reciprocity, which dictates that people feel beholden to “pay back” those who help them. In addition, people typically give back a great deal more than they received.
Above, we see the law of reciprocity in action. Imagine yourself in the referral process: If someone selects you to be his vendor and that person asked you to connect with one of his contacts, would you? It is probable that you would feel beholden to at least make an initial connection. However, if you are someone’s client or customer, you would likely be less compelled to reach out and make the connection.
Networker’s application.
I remember learning in Business Network International (BNI) that we should be specific when asking for referrals. Instead of asking your contacts who they know that could use your services, you might ask which of their VENDORS could use your services. Work with that population and you’ll have a much better success of making contact and avoiding the blow-off.
Beyond getting better referrals, you now have the secret to giving them. Consider the BNI philosophy, “Givers gain.” That creed was built on the law of reciprocity. If you are able to give higher quality referrals by tapping into your pool of vendors, then the recipients of the high quality referrals will reciprocate. And that’s how referral networking is supposed to be done.
The honey vs. vinegar debate is eternal because in reality they both work. Consider these contradicting bits of wisdom: “You attract more bees with honey than with vinegar”; “The squeaky wheel gets the oil”. Both have roots based on the science of persuasion. The former relies on the likability factor. Likeable people tend to be more persuasive. The latter relies on pain avoidance, wherein someone is likely to accommodate you if it helps him avoid a negative consequence.
Unbeknownst to many, there is another facet to the art of asking for and getting what you want: authority. Sometimes it is less about honey and vinegar and more about how you ask.
During a cross-country flight, I noticed a young man stop the flight attendant to ask, “Um, could we get some, like, crackers or peanuts here please?” The attendant curtly responded with a perfunctory smile, “snacks will be served in just a bit.” About five minutes later, a woman stopped the same attendant and said: “Would you please bring us our snack in advance, Jennifer, because it’s been one of those days”. Surprisingly Jennifer responded, “Sure, would you like chips, peanuts, or cookies?” She promptly returned with the snacks. About thirty minutes later everyone else was served.
They both said please; so what did the woman do differently that got her a better result?
1) She knew exactly what she was going to say and said it with confidence, while the young man fumbled uttering “um” and “like”.
2) She used the flight attendant’s name.
3) She made direct eye contact with the attendant.
4) She used the word because, which dramatically increases odds of getting a “yes,” even if the reason is redundant.
5) Her request was framed in a question, but her tone indicated that she expected to be accommodated.
In short, the woman was polite, yet had an aura of authority. The young man lacked that quality and appeared whinny and, judging by the attendant’s face, annoying. This interesting little occurrence 35,000 feet off the ground is a case in point that it is not always about what you ask but how you ask.
Here are the final three tips to help your small business look bigger:
1) Be specific when answering the question, “how’s business?” The small fish will typically answer “it’s going well.” The medium fish will usually answer, “Good, sales are up this year by 5%.” The big fish will typically respond, “Good, this quarter is up 5% over last year.” By speaking in terms of quarters and quantifying your response, you appear sharper and your business appears bigger.
2) Appear busy because the law of scarcity dictates that people want to work with busy people. If you’re not busy, they wonder how good you really are. If you’re not busy yet, endeavor to look busy. When making appointments, avoid saying, “I have all day Thursday open” or worse, “Next week my schedule is pretty much clear.” Instead, consider using this verbiage, “Monday is out, and so are Tuesday and Wednesday, but how does Thursday look at 11:20 or 4:40?” Off times such as 7:20 give the impression that you are well organized and busy, and they will respect your time more. In fact, it is proven that people are more prompt for appointments made at less common times such as 11:10 rather than 11:00.
3) Observe the big fish in action. Listen to how they talk about their businesses, look at their business cards, analyze how they interact, and you will soon see the common denominators as clear as day.
Keep in mind that appearing bigger is not always beneficial. It depends on your product/service, target market and industry. In the cases where it is beneficial, be sure to use these techniques as appropriate. Always use your judgement, as it is one thing to enhance your image and another to over-stretch.
Three more tips in our top ten ways to make your small business look big.
I) Your email address communicates the size of your business. Want a big fish image? You need a big fish address.
Tiny fish: frank1257@yahoo.com. Any of the “freebie” emails (gmail, hotmail, etc) scream that you are a solopreneur working from home.
Small fish: frank@targetintellect.com is more professional because a company domain name is in the address, however it indicates a small company because it uses only the first name. A small company will count on the probability that no two employees will have the same first name.
Medium fish: damelio@targetintellect.com reflects a medium sized company as it uses the last name to avoid using duplicate first names of company employees.
Big fish: fdamelio@targetintellect.com indicates a large company because it requires each employee to use the first initial. With so many employees, there are duplicate last names.
Giant fish: frank.damelio@targetintellect.com is the address type that most national and multinational companies use to help differentiate addresses among their massive pool of employees.
Which email type you use depends on the image you wish to portray.
II) “WE” is the word that distinguishes you from the small fish. When people network, a common question is “tell me what your company does?” A big fish will almost always begin responding with the word “we”, while the little fish will open with the word “I”, which sends a clear signal that he is likely a solopreneur.
III) Free work? Many will disagree, but this proved to be a great investment for me in the early days. Big companies tend to choose other big companies as their vendors. Once you get work from a nationally recognized brand, be sure to weave it into your networking conversation. Why? First, it shows that you are established if “national corp” found and hired you. Second, “national corp’s” credibility transfers to you by association.
Your track record doesn’t include any big businesses? Court them, make your proposals, and by all means charge for your goods and services. However, if you get close to a sale and there is a “no go” decision based on budget, then offer to do the work at a deep discount or free. In return ask for a video testimonial, letter of recommendation and that they be a standing reference for you. While many disagree, I say this does not devalue what you do. It is an investment in your brand that will give you credibility to sell in the future; plus once “national corp” sees how good you are, they may buy your goods or services in the future.
As always, my caveat here is for you to be aware of the difference between image management and gross exaggeration. Use your judgment and that of those you trust when making your company look like a bigger fish.
Two-hour instant download on Persuasion lecture: BUY NOW
In certain industries, looking like a small fish gives that “personal touch” advantage. This series, however, is for companies that need to look bigger to court the business of larger companies. Here is tip number four in our top ten ways to make your small company look bigger.
Your business card design says a lot more about you than you think. After sorting a pile of over 130 business cards by company size, it becomes immediately clear as to why small company cards look SMALL.
Here are the common denominators to consider when designing a business card that you hope will make your company look like a BIG fish in the business pond.
1) Include a business address. ALL of the big business cards I sorted had addresses, while only 18% of the small businesses did so. Residential addresses sound, well, residential. P.O. Boxes are okay, but suites are better. We have heard that some will rent a P.O. Box and call it a Suite anyway. We make no guarantees about that strategy. The best solution is to have a business address, which can be economically obtained by using avirtual office.
2) List more than one telephone. Most small companies only list one number, usually a cell phone. The majority of big businesses have two or three numbers – typically a main number, direct number and cell number. You can use your land line and cell.
3) Have a fax number: We realize that with email and PDFs, the fax is becoming obsolete, but this is about perception. All big companies list a fax, and if you want to appear big, you should too.
4) As counterintuitive as it is, small companies use big font and large companies use small font. Big font makes more sense because it is easier to read, but large companies want consistency with their font style and size; so the point size they select must be small enough to allow for the largest name.
Other things to consider: a professional logo that is not too big; thickness and quality of paper; professional printing.
Look forward to our upcoming five tips on making your small business look bigger, and forward this to anyone you know who is starting a business.
Today I will share with you the first three of the top ten tips to appearing to be a bigger fish:
1) While there is nothing wrong with working from your home office, never appear to be working from your home office. A virtual office is an inexpensive way to appear established.
2) If you are a male, have a female leave your outgoing message on your voice mail. If you are a female, have a male deliver your message. Never use an answering machine as callers can tell, and it communicates that you are working from your basement.
3) Think about your title. Something I learned too late. Putting “CEO” or “President” on you business card actually makes your company look smaller. Giving yourself the title “Director of Marketing” or “SVP Sales” makes your company look far bigger.
A caveat: there is a difference between managing your impression and over spinning. Always be guided by your ethics.
Gift giving is a sure way to engage in the law of reciprocity, which is why the act of giving in business has been practiced since the beginning of civilization. Beware, however, that it is a double-edged sword. Here are some guidelines to ensure that you appease the Gods of Reciprocity:
Three don’ts regarding the law of reciprocity:
1) Avoid giving cheap trinkets with your company logo: A cheap pen with your logo that doesn’t write says a great deal to your prospect about YOUR standards of quality. When the pen breaks or fails to work, you are cultivating a sort of reverse sense of reciprocity.
2) Avoid giving high-priced items with general appeal: While some recipients may feel quite beholden to you for your gift, it can be perceived by others as crossing the ethical line. In other cases, it could be considered an illegal kickback. I remember my college roommate’s mom was a nurse in the early nineties. She received a free high-end laptop from a pharmaceutical company. A physician once told me that the same company sent him on vacations. Currently, that industry is becoming highly regulated with respect to gift giving.
3) Avoid “strings attached” giving: People may take you up on your offer, but when you call it a gift, they subconsciously regret it. Have you ever received a thank you coupon from a retailer? It says “we appreciate your business, so come in for your FREE gift __________”. But, the tiny print on the back says “Free with the purchase of $100 or more”. Yes, the company is technically covered, but do you ever get that sense of reverse reciprocation?
Five applications of reciprocation that will get results:
1) Invitation to share time: If you really want to give a sincere gift, offer lunch, dinner, golf, boating, BBQ, anything where you will share time with the person. Keith Ferrazzi in his bestseller, Never Eat Alone talks about adding food to the mix because it creates a much more pleasant experience and memory for the person.
2)Reading or viewing materials: What interests the person you wish to gift? Finding out is so simple with google, facebook, twitter, myspace, linked in, or simply by asking the person. Once you know, it is a simple matter to send an article. Mailing it is more impressive than sending a link because it requires more labor and it can have a hand-written card or post-it attached. Jason Kallio, founder of Expovantage is a master networker. One of his tricks is to scan the news every morning and select which articles will be of interest to his contacts. His results are amazing. Books and DVDs are excellent ways to give a sincere and personalized gift.
3) Birthday Cards: Most people will never remember that you sent them a holiday card, but they will certainly remember a birthday card.
4) Links: What a great gift to give any networker. If your person has his or her own website, and the content is somewhat related to yours, providing a link is a great gift. You are helping them gain exposure and putting them in a positive light.
5) Give value not teasers: A great gift to give is your expertise. I vehemently disagree with those who say you devalue what you do when you give even a taste of it away. Even worse: “give them the why, and make them come to you for the how.” I am talking about gifting a bit of your expertise. A “bit” is a bit subjective. I say, more than a sample, but less than an appetizer, and not the full meal. It should be simple for you to do, but have stand-alone, intrinsic, walkaway value for them.
It is easy to note a common denominator regarding what works and what does not. It appears the techniques that work require some thoughtfulness. That’s why they don’t smack of insincerity. You have to be interested in the person, and most “slick” salespeople aren’t going to make the effort. The gifts that typically backfire appear to require less thought, as they have a more general appeal, or they are cheap tokens, or they have a transparent “ulterior” motive.
Keep in mind that I am employing the law of reciprocity to INDIVIDUAL relationships; not mass market. As per usual, I remind you that these are guidelines and not rules. There are always exceptions.
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In my last vlog, I talked about persuasive selling. In this blog, I want to mention what is NOT persuasive selling.
I just read a sales blog that dealt with the objection, “I’d like some time to think about it”. The blogger suggested that the salesperson use this technique:
“It’s a fact that as time progresses you only retain about 20% of what you learned; so as you take time to ‘think about it’ you are actually becoming less informed. I’m sure you don’t want to make a less-informed decision, right?” Then wait for the answer, and go for the close.
Is this clever? Maybe. But here is my problem with some of these types of “tricks” in sales. To the educated buyer, they sound slick and manipulative. Once your prospect feels he is being manipulated, you completely lose your power of persuasion.
A few more examples of techniques that turn off many prospects:
1) “John, I’m going to be in your area on Tuesday morning and Wednesday afternoon. Which works best for you?” (Nothing wrong with this when John has agreed he wants to meet with you, but if John never gave you that indication, he’s likely to recognize this false-choice cheesy sales technique.)
2) Ben Franklin Close: “Okay John, how about we fold this paper in half. Put the pros on one side and the cons on the other. Whichever is longer, that’s the decision we’ll go with today.”
3) This is a big one: OVERUSE of a prospect’s name. Research shows that you should use the name at the beginning and end. However, inserting the name often in your pitch actually works AGAINST you. Why? Because it sounds slick and salesy.
Prospects are more intuitive and educated than we may think. Once a prospect starts seeing you less as a resource and more as a salesperson, you are losing your ability to persuade.
Keep in mind that there are great lines and techniques to help you move towards a solution. Just remember, many of your prospects have read the same sales books as you have, so be careful that you don’t come off as an encyclopedia of slick sales techniques. Your worst fate is that they see you marching towards that close without respect to the way they make buying decisions.
Enjoy the tip and learn more about persuasion here:
In my 
